Parenting is Dangerous

Aaron is having a terrible tantrum. He wants me to put him down, but as soon as I do, he screams and tries to climb up my leg. I pick him up and he struggles to get down. I'm tired. I don't know why he's so grumpy, and at this moment I don't really care. I just want him to stop screaming for five minutes so I can close my eyes for a second before I have to go downstairs and cook supper. I hold him tight hoping that he'll settle into my embrace. He struggles. He throws his head back. The hard part of his head hits the bridge of my nose. It makes a horrible cracking noise, and pain shoots through my entire body. I swear I see lights. I think for a moment that I might have been struck by lightening. My husband runs into the room and looks terrified. I realize that I'm crying and that I can't speak yet. It hurts. A. LOT.

That was yesterday. Today my nose is still very sore. I can't wear glasses at all because I can't stand anything touching the bridge of my nose. I even flinched when putting on makeup because the mineral brush hurt just brushing across my nose. There's a big bump at the top, and it's a bit swollen. I'm pretty sure it's broken, although I don't fully understand how you can break a nose if it's all cartilage. I'll read up on that when I can hold my eyes open long enough. For now, I'm thinking it's time to head to bed.

Oh, and we did find out why poor Aaron is so grumpy. He has an ear infection in both ears. Yes, ear infections again. He had tubes less than 2 months ago, and we're already on our second round of ear infections. Two weeks ago they had to reopen his tubes because they were blocked AND infected. Seriously, this kid can't catch a break. It's no wonder he's so mad he wants to break his mother's nose. And he has a big bump on the back of his head in the shape of my nose.

The Baby is on His Way

I had my first prenatal appointment today. The official due date is November 18. I watched him squirm and listened to his heart beat. Those things never lose their magic, no matter how many times I've experienced them.

That's him (or maybe her...) He kind of looks like Mr. Peanut, I think. The big circle on the right is his head, and the little bumps on his body are an arm and a leg. The round dot under his head is the yolk sac. Pretty cool, huh?

The Secret Life of Moms

I couldn't find the exact place, but I remember that in The Secret Life of Bees, Lily says that telling the truth means telling even the worst parts. This is my worst part.

I am tired. I am so very, very tired. And hormonal. And irritable.

My kids are energetic. They are so very, very energetic. And loud. And messy.

I spent two hours today sitting in a doctor's office, being poked and prodded and exposed. By the time I picked up my children, my patience was spent. They didn't have a chance.

They fought about which CD to listen to in the car. They ran in the house and kicked off their shoes in the middle of the living room floor. They passed too quickly by the baby and knocked him down. They let out all of the energy and noise they'd pent up all day. They were preschool kids, is what I'm trying to tell you. And it was more than I could take. I yelled. I didn't just raise my voice. I yelled. I was so very, very ugly.

Tonight I put them to bed and told them how sorry I was for my bad behavior. I explained that I feel kind of funny right now with a tiny person sucking up all my energy, but that it didn't excuse my behavior. And they forgave me. They hugged me and told me that they loved me. How could they love me today? I don't love me today.

Just recently I preached a sermon on how God loves us, not because we earn it, but just because that's how purely He loves. My kids get it. I could learn a lot from them.

Oh, the First Trimester

So far, so good, really. I have had two nonconsecutive days of feeling icky, but neither was unbearable. Compared with the last pregnancy, it's already been a million times better. I'm exhausted. Really exhausted. I start to think about going to bed around 3:00 in the afternoon, but obviously that's not reasonable with 3 kids running around. Things taste funny. I don't enjoy chocolate (which is just tragic), and I can't get enough salt (which is REALLY unlike me).

But I haven't told you the weirdest part yet. I have become a weeping mess. It's not really sadness. In fact, it's not sadness at all. It's a combination of happiness, nostalgia and sentimentality, appreciation, awe...I could go on. But mostly hormones. The littlest things make me cry. We're not talking a sobbing cry-fest, but just watery eyes. I am watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and it's making me cry. I hear my kids pray, and that makes me cry. I hear a beautiful song, and it makes me cry. I see a Johnson & Johnson commercial, and it makes me cry. Don't laugh. Those "having a baby changes everything" commercials? Whew--an emotional roller coaster wrapped up in 60 seconds.

I remind myself that this is the last (insert any pregnancy/baby milestone here), and I try to appreciate it and savor the moment. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes it makes me smile. But it always makes me need a nap.

Reserved for Expectant Mothers

The best part of being pregnant? Hands down, it's the parking spaces. Do I feel silly parking in these when I'm not even showing (that much) yet? Um, I have 3 preschool children. So, no.

Way Down in Mexico

I spent last week in Cabo San Lucas. Think sun, sand, excessive amounts of delicious food, afternoon siestas on the beach, and night after night of uninterrupted sleep. It was wonderful. And here, for your viewing pleasure, are some pictures of the hotel and surrounding area. I did not take most of these. They are stolen from the hotel website and Cabo tourist guides. I didn't carry my camera around much, and the pictures I did take weren't that great because it was already dark outside. But this is pretty much what we saw...

This is the hotel. It was really beautiful.

This is the fountain at the center of the breezeway at night. Even as I look at this picture I feel like I need a sweater. The Cabo nights were a little chilly due to the breeze off the ocean. The days were perfect though--sunny and 80 degrees.

I've been to Cabo before, but I was still surprised by the rocky shoreline. It's nothing like the beaches where I've spent most of my summers. I was amazed to see the beach out one window and a huge mountain out the other. The landscape there is just amazing.

This is the Arch of Cabo San Lucas (or El Arco, as it's called there). Last time I was there our boat traveled under the arch. This time the water level looked a little lower (from what I could see). I'm told sometimes the water level is so low you can walk under it on sandy ground. They told me that it looks like a dinosaur taking a drink, and since I heard that it's the only thing I can see when I look at it.

I got a kiss from a dolphin. They said she was an old lady nearing retirement. She's 29. I take offense to the adjective "old" describing a 29-year old, even if it IS a dolphin.

This is not the same dolphin as in the previous picture. The dolphin we swam with (in the previous picture) was too old to hop up on the edge of the water like this. So, her stunt double stepped in. This dolphin was INSANE. He was thrashing around and slinging people all over the place when they were "swimming" with him. It was hilarious, and it made me appreciate my very sweet, very mature dolphin friend.

Okay, so this is the only picture on here that I actually took. Mike and I like to wander around and find little hole-in-the-wall restaurants that would fail health inspections in the States. This year we traveled only a few blocks off of the beaten tourist path, and we were quickly ushered back by a police officer who was just sure we were lost. We did find a great local restaurant that wasn't quite as hole-in-the-wally as we were hoping, but had the most delicious guacamole I've ever put in my mouth. And that made the whole trip worth it. On the way out, I noticed this sign. They have "extra private" parking behind the restaurant. I glanced at the lot and noticed that it was just an open gravel lot behind the restaurant. So, I wonder what makes it "extra" private. I didn't try to find out, but I thought the sign was funny enough to warrant a picture.

Pretty fantastic, huh? I was really thrilled to get home though. I swear we saw a thousand little boys on the way home, and it just seemed like an eternity until I could squeeze mine again. I'm told they did great while we were gone. They hopped from Nana to Oma to Aunt Kristen to Uncle Marc to Aunt Becca to the Krebs to Mamaw. They went to the zoo (and got a new stuffed animal each), McDonald's more times than I care to know, Chuck E. Cheese's TWICE (which, I think, is a bit masochistic on my family's part), and got "treats" from WalMart and just about every other stop they made. So, I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise that they were a little challenging the day after we returned and tried to get back to normal. They spoil quickly. Of course, I whined all afternoon the first day back about missing my siesta. So, maybe I spoil quickly too.