Monday, January 19, 2009

Day 2

Okay, first of all, thank you so much to everyone who read yesterday's post and then emailed or called to express their concern. I just reread it, and I realize now that it was a bit over-the-top dramatic. You know those days when reality comes crashing in on you and it seems too much to process? That was yesterday. Today was better.

It snowed this morning. It started as little delicate snowflakes drifting past our window at breakfast. By lunch it was coming down hard and stuck enough to pretty well cover our yard. It was so beautiful and relaxing to watch. The boys were so excited they were just beside themselves. During Aaron's nap I took them outside and showed them how to make a snowman and snow angels and snow balls to throw and catch snowflakes on our tongues. Alley (our lab) ran around like a puppy and chased snowflakes. The boys danced in the falling snow and giggled in the way that only preschoolers can. I took pictures. Go to my photo blog to see.

When we came in the boys were cold and lazy and curled up on the sofa with a warm rice sock and a fluffy blanket to watch cartoons. I took the opportunity to clean out the junk drawers in my kitchen. When I was finished I felt like I had accomplished something.

I went to dinner with some friends of ours that have become like family. It was a wonderful distraction for the boys and for me. I know it was a pity dinner--they went out with me because I was alone. But I took it anyway. It was fun. It's lovely to have people who go on pity dinners with me.

Jackson didn't cry himself to sleep tonight. We did have a rather deep discussion about Heaven and dying, but it wasn't sad. It was very matter-of-fact. He seemed a little bothered until I told him that we'll all be in Heaven together. Then he was happy. So, I have a real obligation to get there now since I've promised.

I'm still lonely for my husband, but I'm okay now. I remember when he went away last time it was the first day that was the hardest. We'll make it. But thanks for being there anyway. I feel very loved today.

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