She's Back

Crickets...crickets. I know--it's been quiet around here. I have three children, we've taken turns being sick for the last 2 months, and Christmas was 3 days ago. Those are my excuses. And, because I have not written in so long, there is much to say. That being true, today you get blog clips. I'll be back in full swing in 2009.

1. The baby was standing up in his crib when I went to get him this morning. I am not ready for him to walk, so I pushed him down. I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it. (Of course, I didn't actually push him down. Don't flood my email with criticism of my parenting skills.)

2. We had a lovely Christmas, although I wasn't ready for it. I have a list of things that just never got done this year. I don't know why--I was fully aware of when it would occur. I just couldn't seem to get it all in our schedule. I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it.

3. I enrolled myself in cello lessons. I think I can do this. The teacher emailed and said she wanted to wait until late in January to start the semester because her schedule is crazy right now. Fine by me, I said. I was secretly glad to postpone it a bit. I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it.

4. The baby has two teeth. He bit me while I was nursing him and made me bleed. I decided to wean. I felt a twinge of guilt for not breastfeeding for a full year like I had planned, but it hurt and, honestly, I was really looking for a reason to quit anyway. He got almost 10 months of exclusive breastmilk, and I think that's pretty good. I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it.

5. Everyone is talking New Year's Resolutions. I don't have one. I feel pressured to make a decision in the next couple of days. Then I'll feel pressured to keep the resolution. Then I'll feel like a failure when I break it on January 5. I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it.

Maybe I do have one after all.

You know, if someone talked to my children the way I talk to myself, I would be livid. I wouldn't stand for it. In fact, I wouldn't even allow someone to talk like that around my children. It's just not nice. So, I'm not sure why it's okay for me to talk like that to myself. 2009--I'm going to take better care of my children's mother. And I will fail. I'm going to try not to beat myself up though.