Thursday, May 17, 2012

Bare it All

I get a text every morning from my Bible app.  I call it my morning text from Jesus.  This morning's:

Galatians 6:2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  

Oh, no problem.  I'm good at this.  I'm really good at this.  I'm a little TOO good at this.  I bear my friends' burdens.  I bear my family's burdens.  It borders on unhealthy--for all of us.  Oh, let's be honest.  It crosses the line of unhealthy.  So, no problem.  Thanks for the text, Jesus.  I didn't need to hear that.  But thanks anyway.  It was a nice little pat on the back this morning.

I should have stopped there.  It's nice to think that you're doing it all right.  But I had to ponder it some more because I can't leave well enough alone.  I wondered if maybe Jesus wasn't so much trying to tell me to do the bearing as He was telling me to do the baring.  Hmm.  That's not pleasant.  I'm not good at that.  I'm not good at that at all.  It borders on unhealthy.  Heck, it crosses the line of unhealthy.  I'm pretty sure there's a reason I went into counseling.  People bring their burdens to me.  I don't return the favor.  It feels raw.  Exposed.  Makes me want to run and cover up or, more likely, distract by turning the focus on someone else.  How does that make YOU feel?

And yet, the Bible I love specifically says to bear each other's burdens.  Roles aren't assigned.  We don't have bearers and barers.  We have community--a community that mutually shares burdens.  You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.  I have been pretty busy scratching the backs of those I love and haven't noticed the itch on my own.

Not that I have a sense of direction as to how to begin being a barer.  I guess it probably starts with a little introspection.  I'm not as tough as I think I am.  I get sad.  I get lonely.  I get hungry.  I get tired.  I get overwhelmed.  But even as I write that I cringe.  Sounds like weakness.  Vulnerability.  No thanks. 

How does that make YOU feel?

No comments: