31 Weeks

The belly, 31 weeks

Yes, I'm sure I'm only 31 weeks, but thanks for asking. It gets funnier every time I hear it.

My doctor says that he is measuring large and suspects that he'll come early.

I'm thinking he'll just be another huge Sharp boy, and I'm not expecting to go into labor until the turkey hits the table on Thanksgiving (making him 8 days late). I think I'll still want green bean casserole, even if I'm in labor.

So, tell me, when are you thinking he'll come? Lock in your votes now.

Dear Ei,

My Sweet Ei,

Today you turn 4 years old. In some ways it seems like you should still be my tiny baby, but you are so grown up that I often think of you as even older than 4.

When Jackson was still pretty little (about 5 months old) I took a little drive to the store by myself. I didn't get out much without him, and I had thought it would be really relaxing to spend some time alone. I got in the car and turned on the heat. As soon as the air in the car warmed up, I began to feel really sick--I mean, REALLY sick. I don't get carsick except when I'm pregnant so I decided to buy a pregnancy test while I was at the store. When I got home I took the test, meaning for it to be my little secret. No need to tell the world if it's a false alarm, right? I hadn't even had time to wash my hands when I noticed the two pink lines. I read the box to be sure: two lines=pregnant. Since the recommended time had not passed to read the test I told myself not to panic--maybe it would fade in a minute or so. When it didn't, I knew. I was pregnant. I cried. I was still very much new to this whole mothering thing. I wasn't sleeping through the night. I wasn't eating hot meals. I was still unsure of how to manage a baby and a grocery cart at the same time. How could I possibly handle another baby? I think I must have sat on the bathroom floor and cried for at least half an hour before I decided I would soon be missed. I tidied myself up and went about the day, unsure of how to tell your Daddy that he was about to be a daddy again. I told Aunt Becca first. Then, when I had given myself a couple of hours to digest the idea, I told Daddy. I prepared him for news I wasn't sure he was going to like. I'll never forget his response: "How could I be upset about a baby?" Suddenly, this whole second-baby thing seemed so much more manageable. I wasn't doing it alone. Daddy would be right alongside me, as would all of our family and friends. From that moment on, I never even considered crying about being pregnant again. I was scared, sure. And tired, absolutely. But I was so happy. I was also fiercely defensive for you. People joked about my little "oops" baby, and I adamantly explained that you were well-planned, just not by me. No, you weren't in my plans, little man, but God knew that our family needed you. And, boy, was He right.

You dropped into our world and instantly felt like you'd been a part of us forever. I think we might have called you Ethan once or twice before Jackson re-named you Ei. You became "Baby Ei" and would be until we dropped the "baby" and left it just Ei. You had this round bald head and ears that stuck out, and you looked exactly like Charlie Brown from behind. You adored Jackson from the beginning--no one could make you smile the way he could (and the feeling was mutual). You were on the move from the beginning, and I almost can't remember a time when you didn't talk in full sentences because you started talking so early. And your laugh. Oh, Ei, you didn't just laugh. You cackled. And your whole body laughed. You shook all over and turned red in the face and couldn't breathe you laughed so hard. It was impossible to be in the room with you and not laugh along with you. We started saying that your cuteness would keep you out of trouble. 4 years later, I'm sure we were right. You are so rotten, Mr. Ei. You tease and pick and stay on the verge of trouble, but your precious laugh still gets you out of trouble. Everyone who meets you is charmed. Your Sunday School teacher from last year still goes out of her way to talk to you. Your Bible School teacher made a point of telling me how much she adored you. People who barely know you fall in love with your mischievous smile and funny mannerisms. I can't tell you how many times someone has said to me, "I'd take Ei home with me in a heartbeat," or something similar. I always beam with pride. And you and your brother Jackson? It melts my heart to see the two of you becoming such good friends. You tell me often that Jackson is your best friend, and I hope that's true forever. You love each other so well.

You know how sometimes someone surprises you with something wonderful, when it isn't even your birthday or Christmas? Those are the best kinds of presents because they are so unexpected, and because it usually means the giver is so sure you'll love this particular gift that he just can't wait for a big occasion to give it to you. That's you, Ei. I had always planned on having more children. I knew I wanted more babies--someday. I really think that God had an idea for a great little person, and He was so eager to present it to me that it just couldn't wait until I thought to ask for it. You are my perfect little surprise. If I could have planned all my children to be surprises (which seems like an oxymoron, I guess), that's exactly what I would have done. I couldn't have planned anything as marvelous as your birth. I couldn't have designed a better relationship between brothers. I couldn't have imagined a more precious child. I am so lucky to be your mom, and I hope you know that. I hope you know how much I love you. I hope that you know how proud of you I am. I hope you know how wonderfully made you truly are.

Happy birthday, Big Boy Ei. I love you so very, very much.
Love,
Mama

The Eyebrows

What Aaron lacks in vocabulary, he makes up for in facial expressions. This particular look says, "You again? Go. Go now. Leave me alone with my Mama."

School's In!

Today started the 3rd week of homeschooling in the Sharp household. Many of you asked how it was going, so here's the scoop.


For the most part, it's going great. I'm teaching Jackson and Ei together, so that means Jackson is occasionally bored while Ei catches up, and Ei is occasionally lost while Jackson explores a more difficult concept, but for the most part we're all working together. Ei's attention span is really short, and I have to remind myself over and over that he's not even 4 yet. Both of them love science best and are fascinated by outer space. So, we've spent a lot of our free time this week watching video clips on the internet about space. I've actually learned a great deal too! Math is our hardest subject, mostly because there is such a gap between what Ei is doing and what Jackson is doing. I've been spending most of my one-on-one time in math so that Jackson doesn't have to go back to square one but Ei doesn't get lost. Ei does not enjoy seatwork of ANY kind, so he gets frustrated when I give him some work to do while I work individually with Jackson. The best part is when they recap the entire day for Daddy over supper. I'm constantly amazed at how much they retain. Even after a few really hairy scheduling days in which we fell behind on our plans for the day, we managed to get caught up and are currently right on target. So, overall, I'm really pleased, and the boys seem to be enjoying themselves (mostly) too.


We are back in Funtastic Fridays (our homeschool co-op) this year. Jackson and Ei are both taking a math class, a language class, a Spanish class, and karate. I was afraid that I had over-scheduled them (4 classes is a lot in one day), but they seem fine. We're always exhausted when we leave, but they enjoy all their classes.


Oh, and I get asked a lot about what I do with Aaron while we're doing school. Good question. He says the Pledge of Allegiance with us every morning (well, he puts his hand on his heart and mumbles), and he sits on the sofa with the boys while they're listening to a lesson. But while we're busy working on seatwork or doing hands-on projects, I often forget to keep a close eye on him, and this is what happens:

He self-teaches an art class. I give him an A for self-expression. Class dismissed!

The Belly

26 weeks

Yes, I still feel great.

Happy Birthday, Dear Jackson

Dear Jackson,

Today you turn 5 years old. I don't know how that's possible. I can still remember so vividly the weight of you in my arms for the first time, the intoxicating sweet smell that followed you around, and the softness of your fuzzy head as you nestled into my shoulder. You loved to be carried on my chest with your tiny legs tucked under your body like a little frog. You really weren't much of a crier, but when you did cry your face turned beet red and, buddy, you wailed. How is it possible that all of that was five years ago? When did you turn from a helpless infant into this charming boy?

Jackson, there's so much I will tell you someday. I want to tell you about the time I took you for your 9-month well-baby checkup and they told me that your liver was enlarged. The doctor guessed it was probably harmless but wanted to order an ultrasound to rule out cancer. CANCER. I heard that word echo in my head for the next 4 days as I wavered between begging God to take care of you and fury that He would bless me with this precious person only to take you away from me. I have never been so scared in all my life, and I've never cried that many tears. I can remember feeling your brother kicking around inside me (I was pregnant with Ei at the time) and feeling so torn because I wanted to give you a piece of my own liver but knew that I couldn't with Baby Ei inside me, and it was too early to deliver him. I don't think I slept at all for 3 nights. When they told me the ultrasound looked fine and that you were okay, I couldn't stop kissing you and holding you close to me. You squirmed away and wanted me to put you down, but I needed to hold on to you.

Jackson, someday I want you to know how I worry about you. I watch you suck in your cheeks when you're nervous, and I want to pull you close to me and make the world go away. I want to protect you from all that makes you scared and sad and embarrassed, but I also want to teach you how to believe in yourself and talk yourself through the anxiety. I want to push you hard to be the best you can be, but I also want you to know that the best you can be doesn't have to be perfect. I want you to know how proud I am of you, but I don't want you to think I'm proud of you only because of what you accomplish. You're a complex person, but I get you because you're my mini-me. I understand, but I don't have a clue what to do about it. And I worry all the time that I'm not getting it right.

Jackson, I don't even have the words to describe how much I love you. When I asked God for a baby, I hadn't thought much about what it would be like to have a child. I knew I wanted little doll clothes and strollers and tiny shoes (oh, the shoes!), but I didn't think ahead to what it would be like when my baby turned five. I had no idea that I would still sneak into your room at night to watch you sleep. I didn't know that I would still find the smell of your hair intoxicating. I couldn't have guessed that I would still struggle with my own need to hold you close and your need to wiggle free. You changed my life, little man. You love to remind me that I wasn't even a mom until you came along, and you have no idea how true that is. It's not just a title. Before you were even born, I fell in love with you, and my life started changing. I didn't know I could love like this. And, Jackson, it wasn't just me! You changed our whole family. I have never loved your Daddy as much as I did the day he tried to change your diaper for the first time. It took him a good 15 minutes just to get the old one off (meanwhile a very patient nurse was standing by waiting to take your vitals, and, bless her heart, she didn't laugh even once). Since you came along, I've fallen in love with Daddy's playful, patient, tender side. And our extended family? Never have we been so close. You wouldn't believe the welcome you received. My hospital room was packed to the brim with balloons, gifts, food, and so many people who just couldn't wait to squeeze you. For days we had a steady stream of visitors at our door. No one could get enough of you. Even after the newness of you wore off, we found new reasons to get together. Everyone just wanted to be near you. That hasn't changed. Five years later, we still have a steady stream of visitors at our door. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends--everyone wants to be a part of your life and watch you grow into this fantastic young man. You are a well-loved person, Jackson Reed...but no one loves you like your Mama loves you.

Happy birthday, precious Jackson. I hope all your birthday wishes come true. And I hope someday you have a child of your own so you can love someone this richly.

Yours forever,

Mama

Isle of Palms

Last week we took a much-needed vacation to Isle of Palms, South Carolina.  It was wonderful to get away from our routine for a week and relax with our family.  In addition to the Sharps, Oma, Nana, and Uncle Marc came along, so we had lots of people chasing after the boys (well, mostly Aaron--but it takes 5 adults to keep up with him!)

 

Aaron traveled with his loveys.  And, if you are my pediatrician, no, that is not a bottle in my 16 month old's mouth.  It's trick photography. 

 

The big boys were amazingly good in the car.  Our DVD player worked on the way down but not on the way back, so we had to rely on good old fashioned car fun on the way back (i.e. bribery and snacks).

Aaron crashed that night.  He doesn't much like leaving home, and the whole thing was a bit stressful for him.  Every time we go on a trip he develops an unexplained fever, which we can only attribute to stress.  It went away the minute we got home.

We went into Charleston one day.

At the Children's Museum

 

This is how we kept up with all our children.

Aaron was mostly unimpressed.

After the museum we went on a horse-drawn carriage ride to see historic Charleston.  Aaron loved the horses.  He called them all Alley (our dog's name).

 

It's kind of hard to get a picture of the buggy while you're on it, so this is the buggy that returned just as we were leaving.  We looked like that, but without the matching green shirts.  My family just wouldn't cooperate with coordinating their outfits for the carriage rides.  Party poopers, if you ask me.

We saw all the beautiful historic homes and churches.  This house is my favorite.  I could live here.

I think Aaron liked it too.

If you've never been to the Charleston area, you have to go just to see all the crazy bridges.  We must have gone over a dozen cool ones.  This one was especially cool.  It was a little intimidating, actually, but the architecture was amazing.

This is what is looked like from under the arches.

 

These baby birds were on our back porch.  We really enjoyed watching the mama sparrow feed her babies.  It was really interesting because several different sparrows visited the babies and even fed them.  It takes a village, even if you're a bird, I guess.

They were really hungry.  This is also what my kids look like when dinner is late.

On the boat tour--one of the boys' favorite things

Showing off his dimple

Being silly

Aaron was mostly impressed with the captain's dog, who accompanied our trip.  He called her, you guessed it, Alley.  (Her name was really Bella, but she didn't seem to mind being called Alley.)

Oh, and he liked wearing Mama's big hat.

 

But mostly he was unimpressed with the boat tour too.

This is a dolphin.  Just take my word for it.  We saw tons of them on our little trip, but they weren't feeling very photogenic.  I have a bunch of pictures of the still water where there was ONCE a dolphin though.

 

The boat took us to Barrier Island, which is completely undeveloped.  It was REALLY beautiful.

The boys got nets and went crabbing...

successfully.  One of my favorite memories was watching Jackson pounce on a crab.  He got wet from head to toe, but he came up with the crab all tangled in his net.

Showing off their catch--Ei wasn't so sure he liked holding it

 

The boys and Oma were constantly on watch for wildlife in our backyard.  We had a really cool view of a "lagoon" (well, that's what the website called it, but we all agreed it was more of a swamp), and we saw all kinds of animals hanging out back there.

TONS of birds--various herons and cranes and pelicans

We saw lots of white-tailed deer.   We even saw a baby hanging out in another condo's front yard with his mama.  Of course, I didn't have my camera with me though.  They are not afraid of people at all, and they came right up to the front porches of people's houses in our little subdivision.

We saw racoon fishing.  There were 4, but we only caught 3 in this picture.

And this guy.  Yup, that's an alligator.  When we arrived we saw a sign next to the pool that said, "Do not feed or approach the alligators."  We thought it was funny...until we saw one.  He hung out all week.  Aaron called him Alley.

  

This is where we spent quite a bit of our time.  The boys got really comfortable putting their faces in the water and swimming with their legs behind them.  It was fun to watch.

Watching Animal Planet is much cooler inside a fort.

The view from inside

Poor Aaron.  We bought this swimsuit with a built-in float for Jackson, but it was too small.  So, we tried it on Aaron.  He floated, all right, but he looked ridiculous.  We didn't make him wear it again. 

In the evenings we put puzzles together.  We got through 3 and a half puzzles.

And, of course, we played on the beach. 

Aaron was unimpressed.  He fell asleep in his beach chair.  It was too hot to cover him up with a towel, but I didn't want him to burn.  So, I strategically covered him in hats.  You can't tell from this picture, but the hats (and one bucket, which covered his foot)are completely blocking all of the sun's rays.

 

Ooh, look who woke up.

The boys buried Daddy in the sand.  This might look familiar.  We did the same thing last year. 

Aaron was still unimpressed.  Oh, but isn't this a cool photography trick?  Marc did it.  I cannot take credit for it.

Flying kites

Aaron was so happy to be home.  He rolled all over the floor and then finally fell asleep.  Poor guy. 

We had a wonderful time, but we are all glad to be home.  Next year, 4 boys.  Who's coming with us?